If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
