So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
