I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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