Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
