My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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