i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
sarcasm needs its own font
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
