were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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