would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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