I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
