She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
