And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
