Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
