Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize