So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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