Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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