So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
There's even glitter on my cock...
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