It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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