i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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