apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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