Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
