we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
