I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize