Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's shark week go big or go home
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
