my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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