So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
