haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
