Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
