Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
