Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
