Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
