# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
