addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize