Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
