chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
