New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
