So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
