that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
