Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
