If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
