ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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