Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
