omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I touched a dick in church today
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
