but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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