When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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