an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
