Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
How naked do you want me to be?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
