i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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