Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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