I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
