I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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