wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think im going to throw up on grandma
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
where are my eyebrows?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
