im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
