is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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