Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
