did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
