Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
