I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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