You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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