You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
