so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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