Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
