She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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