you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
