that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I intend to get homeless drunk
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
