I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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