whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
