Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
