honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
