she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
