Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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